Ambiguous Loss: Books for Youth Impacted by Divorce

Children navigating their parents’ divorce often experience a complex form of grief known as ambiguous loss. This profound sadness comes from grieving a family structure that still exists but is irrevocably changed or from loving a parent who is physically absent in daily life yet remains a permanent part of their heart. These feelings can be confusing and difficult for a child to articulate, leaving them to grapple with a mix of love, loyalty, and longing without a clear path for closure. The resources that follow are designed to help give language to these complex emotions, offering both children and the adults who support them a framework for understanding and a sense of shared experience.

Ages 4-8

• Two Homes (Ages 2-5) At Mommy’s house, Alex has a soft chair. At Daddy’s house, Alex has a rocking chair. In each home, Alex also has a special bedroom and lots of friends to play with. But whether Alex is with Mommy or with Daddy, one thing always stays the same — Alex is loved. The gently reassuring text focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them. Two Homeswill help children, and parents, embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart. **
• Everything Changes (Ages 4-8) When parents break up, a child may wonder if things will ever be the same. This tender, moving story explores the emotions children may feel through this difficult transition. **

Ages 9-12

• First Rule of Punk (Ages 9-12) There are no shortcuts to surviving your first day at a new school—you can’t fix it with duct tape like you would your Chuck Taylors. On Day One, twelve-year-old Malú (María Luisa, if you want to annoy her) inadvertently upsets Posada Middle School’s queen bee, violates the school’s dress code with her punk rock look, and disappoints her college-professor mom in the process. Her dad, who now lives a thousand miles away, says things will get better as long as she remembers the first rule of punk: be yourself. The First Rule of Punk is a wry and heartfelt exploration of friendship, finding your place, and learning to rock out like no one’s watching. **
• Flora & Ulysses (Ages 9-12) Flora is a self-described cynic, trying to navigate the challenges of having divorced parents. When her neighbor inadvertently vacuums up a squirrel in her yard, Flora performs CPR on him. Flora soon comes to realize that Ulysses is not an ordinary animal. She views him as a superhero because he is strong, can fly, type, understands English, and write poetry. Since the divorce, Flora’s dad, George, seems sadder and quieter. Flora turns to her favorite comic, The Illuminated Adventures of the Amazing Incandesto, to escape the heartache in her life. Flora (10) becomes friends with another boy William (11), similar to Flora as a divergent thinker, dealing with his own family problems. While there is plenty of silliness and laugh-out-loud moments, there are many valuable lessons for kids to learn from this book. **
• Skeleton Tree (Ages 9-12) A staggering debut that will forever change the way you think about life, hope, death . . . and the power of friendship to transcend them all. For young people who have been through divorce or the death of a loved one, they will identify with Stanly and for those who have not yet experienced these things, they will be able to sympathize with others when, inevitably, those sad things happen in their world. **
• Things that Will Not Change (Ages 9-12) After her parents’ divorce, Bea’s life became different in many ways. But she can always look back at the list she keeps in her green notebook to remember the things that will stay the same. The first and most important: Mom and Dad will always love Bea, and each other. **
• Divorce is Not the End of the World: A Coping Guide (Ages 9-12) Zoe and Evan Stern know firsthand how it feels when your parents divorce. When their parents split they knew their lives would change but they didn’t know how. A few years later, when they were 15 and 13 years old, they decided to share their experience in this positive and practical guide for kids. With some help from their mom, Zoe and Evan write about topics like guilt, anger, fear, adjusting to different rules in different houses, dealing with special occasions like birthdays, adapting to stepparents and blended families, and much more. **
• Between Two Homes Journal (Ages 10-18) Divorce is life-changing, and as a teen caught in the middle, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even isolating. Between Two Homes is a guided journal designed to help you process your emotions, express your thoughts, and find your own path forward. This journal is more than just a place to write—it’s a personal companion filled with thoughtful prompts, self-reflection exercises, and creative activities to help you work through the challenges of living between two homes. You’ll explore emotions like anger, sadness, and confusion, while also discovering ways to build resilience, find support, and create a future that feels hopeful.

Ages 13-18

• Mosquitoland (Ages 13-18) After the sudden collapse of her family, Mim Malone is dragged from her home in northern Ohio to the “wastelands” of Mississippi, where she lives in a medicated milieu with her dad and new stepmom. Before the dust has a chance to settle, she learns her mother is sick back in Cleveland. So she ditches her new life and hops aboard a northbound Greyhound bus to her real home and her real mother, meeting a quirky cast of fellow travelers along the way. But when her thousand-mile journey takes a few turns she could never see coming, Mim must confront her own demons, redefining her notions of love, loyalty, and what it means to be sane. **
• Mend: A Story of Divorce (Ages 13-18) Mend: A Story of Divorce is the first in a series of graphic novels written by young adults for their peers. Sophia, the fourteen-year-old author and protagonist, tells the heart-wrenching story of her parents’ divorce. She was just nine years old, happy and enjoying life with her mom, dad, and little brother in Las Vegas, Nevada. Unexpectedly, one night, a violent argument disrupted her sleep and shattered her life. The next morning, her parents told her the dreaded news–they were getting divorced. **
• Still Life of a Tornado (Ages 15-18) Sixteen-year-old Sarah can’t draw. This is a problem, because as long as she can remember, she has “done the art.” She thinks she’s having an existential crisis. And she might be right; she does keep running into past and future versions of herself as she wanders the urban ruins of Philadelphia. Or maybe she’s finally waking up to the tornado that is her family, the tornado that six years ago sent her once-beloved older brother flying across the country for a reason she can’t quite recall. After decades of staying together “for the kids” and building a family on a foundation of lies and domestic violence, Sarah’s parents have reached the end. Now Sarah must come to grips with years spent sleepwalking in the ruins of their toxic marriage. As Sarah herself often observes, nothing about her pain is remotely original—and yet it still hurts. **

If you are interested in more resources on ambiguous loss, head over to our Ambiguous Loss Resource Hub.

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