Ambiguous Loss: Books for Youth Impacted by Incarceration

A family member’s incarceration can lead to a deeply confusing experience of ambiguous loss for a child, where a loved one is physically absent from their daily life yet remains very much present in their thoughts and hearts. This type of grief is characterized by a lack of closure and societal recognition, leaving children to navigate a web of difficult emotions, from longing and worry to stigma and shame, often in silence. The following resources are offered to help give voice to this unique experience, providing stories and strategies that validate a child’s feelings and reassure them that they are not alone in this journey.

Ages 4-8

• See You Soon (Ages 3-6) From New York Times Bestselling Author Mariame Kaba, a poignant, beautifully illustrated story of a little girl’s worries when her Mama goes to jail, and the love that bridges the distance between them. Queenie is worried about what will happen when Mama goes to jail. She’s afraid to ask questions, and overcome with feelings of worry and sadness. Does Mama have a warm bed to sleep in? When will Queenie see her again? Soon after she and Grandma return home, Queenie opens a letter from Mama, and savors every word. She knows her Mama loves her, and looks forward to their upcoming visit. **
• Far Apart, Close in Heart (Ages 4-8) Kids can have all kinds of feelings and questions when a parent is incarcerated. Rafael is embarrassed. Rashid is angry. Yen wonders if it’s her fault. This sensitive story illustrates a range of situations children may face with moms or dads behind bars, while reassuring them they are not alone. **
• Deena Misses Her Mom (Ages 4-8) Lately, Deena has been getting angry. A lot. She acts out in school and keeps getting in trouble. Everyone is surprised because she used to be very calm, but that was before her mother went to jail. Her dad, her grandma, and her best friend Josey all do their best to help her out, but Deena doesn’t want to talk about it. Will a day at the carnival with her Dad help her open up? **
• My Brother is Away (Ages 4-8) With her older brother in prison, a young girl copes with the confusing feelings his absence creates. At times she remembers the way her brother would carry her on his shoulders or how he would make up stories to tell her at bedtime. Other times she feels angry and wants to fly so far away that she can forget what happened. When her Mama and Daddy take her on the 500-mile journey to visit him, a trip she knows not all families are able to make, the girl is excited but also nervous. But the nerves turn to joy when she sees him. Everything is different, but everything is the same too. Her brother is not home, but his love hasn’t changed. With words that are spare, gentle, and reassuring, this picture book will help young readers with similar stories feel less alone and give other readers a window into the struggles some children face. **

Ages 9-12

• From the Desk of Zoe Washington (Ages 9-12) Zoe Washington isn’t sure what to write. What does a girl say to the father she’s never met, hadn’t heard from until his letter arrived on her twelfth birthday, and who’s been in prison for a terrible crime? A crime he says he never committed.Could Marcus really be innocent? Zoe is determined to uncover the truth. Even if it means hiding his letters and her investigation from the rest of her family. Everyone else thinks Zoe’s worrying about doing a good job at her bakery internship and proving to her parents that she’s worthy of auditioning for Food Network’s Kids Bake Challenge. From debut author Janae Marks comes a captivating story full of heart, as one courageous girl questions assumptions, searches for the truth, and does what she believes is right—even in the face of great opposition. **
• All Rise for the Honorable Perry T Cook (Ages 9-12) From comes Eleven-year-old Perry was born and raised by his mom at the Blue River Co-ed Correctional Facility in tiny Surprise, Nebraska. His mom is a resident on Cell Block C, and so far Warden Daugherty has made it possible for them to be together. That is, until a new district attorney discovers the truth—and Perry is removed from the facility and forced into a foster home. When Perry moves to the “outside” world, he feels trapped. Desperate to be reunited with his mom, Perry goes on a quest for answers about her past crime. As he gets closer to the truth, he will discover that love makes people resilient no matter where they come from . . . but can he find a way to tell everyone what home truly means? **
• Ruby in the Sky (Ages 9-12) Twelve-year-old Ruby Moon Hayes does not want her new classmates to ask about her father. She does not want them to know her mother has been arrested. And she definitely does not want to make any friends. Ruby just wants to stay as silent and invisible as a new moon in the frozen sky. She and her mother won’t be staying long in Vermont anyway, and then things can go back to the way they were before everything went wrong. As ugly rumors begin to swirl around the people Ruby loves, she must make a choice: break her silence, or risk losing everything that’s come to mean so much to her. Ruby in the Sky is a story of the walls we hide behind, and the magic that can happen when we’re brave enough to break free. **

Ages 13-18

• Concrete Rose (Ages 13-18) If there’s one thing seventeen-year-old Maverick Carter knows, it’s that a real man takes care of his family. As the son of a former gang legend, Mav does that the only way he knows how: dealing for the King Lords. With this money he can help his mom, who works two jobs while his dad’s in prison. Life’s not perfect, but with a fly girlfriend and a cousin who always has his back, Mav’s got everything under control. Until, that is, Maverick finds out he’s a father. Suddenly he has a baby, Seven, who depends on him for everything. But it’s not so easy to sling dope, finish school, and raise a child. So when he’s offered the chance to go straight, he takes it. In a world where he’s expected to amount to nothing, maybe Mav can prove he’s different. **
• They Called me 299-359 (Ages 13-18) They Called Me 299-359 is an anthology of poetry and essays written, edited, and compiled by incarcerated youth who are Free Minds Book Club members, held both at the DC Jail and in adult federal facilities across the country. Through moving personal testimony, these young writers explore the challenges and pain of incarceration as well as family, forgiveness, redemption, and dreams. Their book is used as a tool for violence prevention and healing in the Free Minds initiative “On the Same Page,” and is also taught as part of college curricula at several universities. This 10th anniversary edition includes updated forewords from Free Minds poet ambassadors as well as from award-winning formerly incarcerated poet Reginald Dwayne Betts. **

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