Suicide Grief 101: For Volunteers & Support Professionals
At Eluna’s Camp Erin and Camp Mariposa we are fortunate to work alongside incredibly compassionate and committed partners, volunteers, support professionals, and caregivers. We have developed this resource to further support our camp partners when welcoming children and families grieving a death by suicide. This Suicide Grief 101 resource includes carefully crafted terminology, statistics, possible questions, and suggested guidelines when concerned about a camper’s wellbeing. Click here to download this resource as a handout.
Terms:
- Suicide is a death caused by self-directed injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior.
- A suicide attempt is a non-fatal, self-directed, potentially injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior. A suicide attempt may or may not result in injury.
- Suicidal ideation refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide.
- Suicide Prevention: Activities to reduce suicide risk factors and increase factors that promote resilience.
- Suicide Postvention: Activities following a suicide to help ease the suffering and emotional distress of the individuals who are grieving and prevent additional trauma and contagion.
- Survivor of Suicide: A person who is grieving the death of a person in their life to suicide. Sometimes called “suicide survivor,” or “suicide loss survivor” to avoid confusion with “suicide attempt survivor.”
Stats:
Suicide is the tenth-leading cause of death in the United States. It is the second-leading cause of death for ages 10-34 in the United States. In 2020, there were an estimated 1.2 million suicide attempts and 45,979 deaths by suicide. Firearms were involved in over half of all suicides and there were more than twice as many deaths by suicide than by homicide.
Impact:
Having someone in our lives die by suicide can be one of life’s most painful experiences. The feelings of loss, sadness, and loneliness experienced after any death are often magnified in suicide grief by feelings of guilt, confusion, rejection, shame, anger, and the effects of stigma and trauma. Furthermore, grieving children and adults can be at higher risk of developing major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal behaviors. Some people may experience a prolonged form of grief called complicated grief.
How to answer questions about suicide:
Why did the suicide happen?
Possible Answer:
“There are many factors that play into why people die by suicide and only ______ (name the person or their role) can understand all of the why’s. One thing we do know is that people who die by suicide often have really big feelings, a lot of pain in their body or heart, or their brain was not able to think clearly. Some people believe that the only way to escape their pain or solve a big problem is to make their own body stop working. These big feelings can often make it hard to remember other ways to get better and see all of the help that is available to them.”
Is it my fault?
Possible Answer:
“There is no one to blame and there isn’t anything you could have done to change what happened. You are not responsible. It is not your fault.”
Why didn’t they ask for help?
Possible Answer:
“People who die by suicide often have really big feelings, a lot of pain, or their brain was not able to think clearly. These big feelings can make it hard to remember other ways to get better and see all of the help that is available to them.”
How do I tell people?
Possible Answer:
“It is completely your choice on how and when to share. There may be times when you choose to stay private or other times when you feel comfortable opening up.”
You may also reference one or both of the following resources:
How to respond when worried about a camper:
- Listen carefully, validate feeling, and paraphrase: “That is scary”, “I hear that you feel like giving up.”, “It sounds like you have lost hope and don’t know what to do.”
- Thank the camper for sharing: “Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts and feelings”.
- Let the camper know that you will need to follow up: “I will be sharing this information with ______ (name lead staff member) because we all care about you and want to make sure you are safe. We are here to help you.”
- Report: If risk is high, stay with the camper while informing a lead staff member. If risk is medium or low, inform the lead staff member immediately and make sure the camper is in a comfortable and safe place.
