Activity: The Hug Jar
Objective:
One of the developmental needs during children’s grief is the need for secure attachment and consistent care. The hug jar allows children to express their needs even if they don’t know how to articulate them. Young children especially need to be reassured by physical touch.
Supplies:
A jar and enough small items to fill the jar that symbolize the hugs. They could be made from paper hearts, pom poms, felt hearts, or anything else small and reusable.
Instructions:
- Start the intervention by talking about feelings and emotions. “When you feel sad or scared or hurt, does it make you feel better to get hugs or to be held?”
- Next, explain death and how it can make people very sad, and sometimes it’s hard to figure out how you feel. Sometimes hugs from loved ones can make you feel better.
- Explain the plan to make a hug jar to use whenever you feel like you need a hug.
- The child can color the paper hearts or choose what colors to go into the jar.
- Fill the jar with the “hugs”
- Explain how to use: “Whenever you have big feelings, or just need some extra love, you can take a heart from the jar and give it to someone safe. The heart (or hug symbol) will let your person know how to help.”
Additional Ideas:
The hearts can also help the child identify emotions when they use the hug jar. You can ask them point to feeling on a feeling chart or you can have different colored hearts for different feelings. For example: Blue = sad Red = angry Purple = scared
(adapted from “The Hug Jar,” 2013)
