Ambiguous Loss: Books for Youth in Adoptive or Foster Families

Youth in adoptive or foster families often experience ambiguous loss – a type of grief that comes from missing someone who is still alive or from navigating the absence of important connections, like birth family relationships, cultural ties, or a clear sense of identity. These losses can be confusing, ongoing, and hard to put into words. The books in this list offer young readers stories that reflect their experiences, giving voice to feelings of love, loss, and belonging while helping them see that they are not alone.

Ages 4 – 9

• My Bright Shining Star follows Little Fatima, a child living in a care home and longing for her forever family. Even as she visits prospective adoptive households- some loving, others unfamiliar – none feel like home. Throughout these journeys, her steadfast caregiver, Aunty Rae, remains her North Star: a source of unwavering support, love, and emotional safety. Based on Olympic athlete Fatima Whitbread’s own childhood experiences, the story balances the sadness of separation with the healing power of kindness and how a single compassionate presence can light the way toward belonging and hope. **
• Eyes That Weave the World’s Wonders: Inspiring Self-Love and Acceptance in Children celebrates self-love and identity, while also acknowledging the loss many adopted or foster children feel when they look in the mirror and see connections to family, culture, or history they may not fully know. By affirming the beauty and worth in each child’s unique features, this story helps young readers honor both what has been lost and what can still be embraced and celebrated. **
• Home for a While tells the story of Calvin, a young boy who has moved between foster homes and carries the heavy feelings of loss, mistrust, and uncertainty that come with constant change. When he enters a new foster placement, his sadness and anger show up in big ways, yet his foster mom, Maggie, patiently helps him feel safe, valued, and accepted. The book gently acknowledges the grief of leaving behind family and familiar places while highlighting the healing that can come from stability, compassion, and a welcoming home. **
• Pedro the Pirate: Learning to Trust a New Crew uses the playful lens of a pirate adventure to capture the deep feelings of loss and uncertainty children may carry when entering foster or adoptive families. Pedro struggles with leaving behind the “crew” he once knew and worries about whether he can trust this new one. Through his journey, the story acknowledges the grief of losing familiar relationships and routines while showing how patience, understanding, and care can help rebuild trust and create a sense of belonging. FREE Reader’s Guide and coloring pages are also available on the publisher’s website. **
• Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption, and Brownies with Sprinkles follows Cassidy-Li as she prepares her “Star of the Week” poster for school. When she is asked to include family photos, Cassidy-Li feels the ache of missing her birth parents and the parts of her story that remain unknown. The book acknowledges the quiet grief children may carry in adoption—the longing for absent family and unanswered questions—while also highlighting the love and support of her adoptive family. With warmth and honesty, it shows that adoption can hold both joy and loss at the same time.
• Yafi’s Family: an Ethiopian boy’s journey of love, loss and adoption (Ages 5-8) shares the story of Yafi, an Ethiopian boy adopted into an American family, as he remembers his early life and his adoption experience. Through photos, stories, and conversations, Yafi carries both the grief of separation from his birth family and homeland and the joy of being welcomed into a new family. This tender book validates the complex emotions many adopted children experience—showing that love and belonging can grow while still making space for loss, memory, and longing.
• Marie Discovers Her Superpowers (Adoptees Like Me) follows Marie, a transracial adoptee, who suddenly doesn’t want to go to the park anymore. When her mom introduces her to Dr. Chaitra, a therapist and fellow adoptee, Marie begins to open up about the grief and confusion she felt after being peppered with intrusive questions like, “Why don’t you look like your mom?” and “Why didn’t you stay with your real parents?” Through their conversations, Marie learns that it’s okay to feel hurt by these questions and that she has the power to choose how much of her story to share. With Dr. Chaitra’s support, she practices different responses—sharing what feels safe, setting boundaries, or choosing silence. This story not only validates the losses adoptees may carry but also affirms their right to protect their story, reminding young readers that their voice, choices, and identity are their superpowers

Ages 9 – 12

• For Black Girls Like Me follows eleven-year-old Makeda June Kirkland, a Black girl adopted into a white family, as she navigates identity, belonging, and loss. When her family moves from Maryland to New Mexico, she leaves behind her best friend and faces challenges fitting in at a new school while also grappling with her mother’s mental health struggles. Through letters, music, and self-expression, Makeda processes the grief of being disconnected from her birth family and culture, discovering resilience and strength along the way. **
• Forever, or a Long, Long Time follows siblings Flora and Julian, who, after years in foster care, have finally found a “forever” home with their adoptive mother, Emily. Despite this newfound stability, Flora struggles to believe in the permanence of their family. The siblings’ past is shrouded in mystery, as they have no memory of their birth mother and have lived in numerous foster homes. This lack of a clear origin story leads them to believe they were never born, a belief that complicates their sense of identity and belonging. As Flora and Julian embark on a journey to uncover their past, they confront the trauma of their early years and the grief of being disconnected from their birth family. Through this exploration, they begin to understand that their experience of loss is a process that requires time, trust, and the courage to face painful truths.
• Home, and Other Big, Fat Lies  follows eleven-year-old Whitney, who has lived in so many foster homes that she has lost trust in the idea of permanence. When she arrives at Foster Home #12 in the middle of California’s forests, she meets other misfit foster kids and a teacher who encourages a nature project. Through these new connections, Whitney begins to navigate the grief of past separations while discovering that even amid uncertainty, she can find moments of belonging and support. **
• The Length of a String follows Imani, a 12-year-old Black girl adopted into a white Jewish family in Baltimore. As she prepares for her bat mitzvah, Imani grapples with the grief of being disconnected from her birth family and heritage. Her longing for answers intensifies when she discovers her great-grandmother Anna’s diary, chronicling Anna’s escape from Nazi-occupied Luxembourg to New York City. Through Anna’s story, Imani gains insight into the complexities of identity, belonging, and the enduring impact of generational trauma. As she navigates her own journey, Imani learns that understanding her past is essential to embracing her present and shaping her future.**

Ages 13 – 18+

• Far from the Tree follows three teenagers—Grace, Maya, and Joaquin—who were separated at birth and later reunite as siblings. Grace, after placing her own baby for adoption, reaches out to Maya and Joaquin, leading to the discovery of their shared biological mother. As they navigate their newfound sibling bond, each grapples with personal grief and loss. Grace contends with the emotional aftermath of her adoption decision; Maya faces the unraveling of her adoptive family due to her mother’s struggle with alcoholism; and Joaquin, having spent seventeen years in foster care, struggles with trust and the fear of abandonment. Together, they explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and the multifaceted nature of family, learning that love and connection can emerge from shared experiences of loss.**
• Counting by 7s follows twelve-year-old Willow Chance, a highly intelligent girl who feels different from her peers and is navigating life with the weight of being misunderstood. When the sudden death of her adoptive parents shatters her world, Willow experiences profound grief and loss. Left to rebuild her life, she forms unexpected connections with a diverse group of adults and teens, each coping with their own challenges. Through these relationships, Willow learns to navigate the uncertainty of loss, finding moments of understanding, support, and belonging while honoring the void left by the people she loved.
• A Brief Chapter in My Impossible Life follows Simone, a fifteen-year-old girl adopted into a loving family, as she grapples with feelings of disconnection and questions about her identity. When she meets her birth mother for the first time, Simone confronts the grief of separation and the complex emotions of longing, curiosity, and uncertainty that come with adoption. As she navigates the challenges of this new relationship alongside her adoptive family, Simone learns that loss and love can coexist, and that coming to terms with past separations is part of understanding who she is and where she belongs.
• More to Me follows Bri, a fourteen-year-old girl who has spent her life caring for her younger siblings amid her mother’s struggles with alcoholism and abusive habits. After enduring years of family dysfunction, Bri and her siblings are placed into foster care, where she battles depression and loneliness. As Bri navigates the challenges of her new life, she uncovers painful truths about her past and the impact of her upbringing. Through her journey, Bri learns to confront the grief of her shattered family and discovers the strength to rebuild her sense of self and hope for the future. **

If you are interested in more resources on ambiguous loss, head over to our Ambiguous Loss Resource Hub.

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