Eluna’s Expert Voices – Importance of Communication by Talking Sports & Giving Space
Rebekah, a mom from Camp Mariposa South Bend, talks about her vastly different communication techniques with each child. From soccer to late night chats, Rebekah tries her best to lean into their individual interests, schedules, and a respectful need for space. For Rebekah, the 7C of COMMUNICATION comes down to honoring each child with some space to process, just as we try to do with fellow adults.
Talking soccer with my 12-year-old:
“With my son, he is 12, and he is a very active soccer enthusiast. He either wants me to be playing soccer with him or watching him play soccer. That is for him, really meaningful and important. If I’m not willing to do that, he just doesn’t want to communicate with me because he doesn’t see me valuing what’s important to him. So, a lot of our best conversations happen while we are kicking a ball around inside the house, playing FIFA soccer video games together, or in the car to and from soccer practice. He sees that as me investing in him. He also has the hottest temper of any 12-year-old. When we’ve had conflict, I’ve recognized that for him that I have to give him in space after. Invariably, he is able to have a good conversation after he’s calmed down.”
Providing space to my 14-year-old:
As they are navigating high school, I’ve touched on some touchy subjects where they say they don’t want to talk to me. I’m aware that pushing is probably not going to work and what will probably happen is that I’ll just push them away….It’s probably true with me too. If somebody wants to talk to me when I’m in the height of emotion, I can’t talk. As adults we tend to give each other those spaces. But, for whatever reason we can be really pushy with our kids – on demand speak to me – and I just don’t think that’s the way that people work.”
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