The Other Side of This: The messy truth about grief for teens
In The Other Side of This, Robert DelFave writes the book he wishes someone had handed him at fourteen, when his dad died. For years afterward, he kept moving forward without fully understanding what that loss had changed. What was missing wasn’t another explanation of the stages of grief, but honest language for the anger, confusion, loneliness, relief, love, and ordinary moments that followed. The result is a candid, welcoming book that acknowledges how messy grief can be without treating a grieving teenager like a problem to solve.
Rather than offering quick fixes, the book moves through seven chapters on the parts of grief people rarely discuss:
- The Day Everything Changed: Shock, memory, and the last ordinary moments before life became different.
- All the Feelings You’re Not Supposed to Talk About: Anger, jealousy, relief, laughter, and longing.
- Nobody’s Normal: Returning to school and wearing the “I’m fine” mask.
- Finding Your People: Friendship and the difference between being understood and being given room to be yourself.
- Where Home Is: How loss can change family, safety, and identity.
- The Things We Keep: The objects, sounds, smells, and memories we carry with us.
- The Other Side of This: Not a finish line, but a full, ordinary life in which grief is carried differently.
Each chapter closes with a reflection exercise that is explicitly not homework, with no right answers, just a place to do something with what you’ve read when you’re ready.
What makes this a strong addition to our Eluna Resource Center is its reach beyond the teen reader. It speaks to grieving teenagers who feel alone, and it gives parents and caregivers a bridge into conversations that can be hard to begin. A free discussion guide for parents and caring adults offers optional questions and activities for each chapter, along with guidance on privacy, asking permission, and letting a conversation end without forcing more, so the book can be offered without turning it into an assignment.
