Supporting Preschoolers Whose Families are Affected by Addiction

Navigating a family member’s substance use disorder can be challenging at any age. However, child development theory and research tell us that children process stressful events differently based on their unique developmental stage.

This article will review common trauma responses followed by tips for education, prevention, and mentoring for the age & stage: PRESCHOOLERS (ages 2-4)

Click here to access the full article on all Ages & Stages

This information is based on child development and psychology research, but it’s important to note that research often leaves out marginalized groups. Children from minority cultural or religious backgrounds may have different responses and needs in the face of traumatic events. Children with developmental disabilities may not match the typical expectations for their chronological age. Even children who are not diagnosed with a developmental disability may experience developmental regression as a trauma response. If you are reading this article with a specific young person in mind, remember that these general guidelines may not accurately reflect the experience of each individual.

Education

Preschool-aged kids are starting to develop concepts of health and illness. They may not always understand why an illness happens, and they are still developing the cognitive skills to recognize connections between healthy behaviors and good long-term health outcomes. [Sources 7, 8] You can explain to your preschooler that their family member has an illness, then reassure them that this illness is not contagious and not their fault. For an age-appropriate conversation starter, try the book Lambi Learns About Addiction or check out the others on this list.

“Dad has a sickness that makes him feel like he needs to take drugs or alcohol (a grown-up drink) to feel okay. Taking too much of these can make Dad’s body feel sick or make him act differently.”

“You can’t catch Dad’s sickness like you can catch a cold or the flu. It’s not your fault that Dad is sick.”

Prevention

Having a family history of substance use disorder puts youth at increased risk of their own substance misuse, but prevention strategies can change that. For preschoolers, consider the following:

• talk about safe ways to take medicine
• model and discuss healthy behaviors
• encourage independent problem-solving
• point out dangerous substances
• use make-believe stories to discuss how violence and unhealthy behavior can hurt people
• for more, see Prevention Tips for Every Age.

Mentoring

Research tells us that connecting with a caring adult mentor is one of the best strategies for prevention and support for children affected by a family member’s substance misuse, and kids who connect with a mentor earlier in life get the most benefit. [Sources 9, 10, 11] To search for a mentor near you, check out Mentor: The National Mentoring Partnership.

Possible trauma responses

Young children will have trouble understanding & verbalizing challenging feelings related to a family member’s substance misuse, so it’s important to look for behavioral cues. Here are some possible trauma responses to look out for [sources 4, 5, 6]:

• loss of developmental skills (e.g. toileting, dressing)
• difficulty sleeping
• increased separation anxiety
• pretend play with themes of traumatic events
• meltdowns/tantrums
• changes in appetite
• withdrawal

Support

Youth whose families are affected by the disease of addiction can often become isolated from communities of support. Here are some recommended programs that focus on caregiver support to help bridge and rebuild connections:

Caregiver Support Programs

• Parents of Addiction Loved Ones (PAL): Parents with an adult child dealing with substance use disorder involving either drugs or alcohol can find hope and support through Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL). Meetings are available all over the country.
• CheckDEC: A free mobile app that immediately connects children, families, and professionals to substance abuse-related information, crisis helplines, drug and treatment information, supportive resources, and services within their local area. Brought to you by the National Alliance for Drug Endangered Children and Office for Victims of Crime

For more support options, jump to our hub of recommended programs & resources.

*Special thanks to Eluna volunteer, Mary Ann Gill, for supporting the development of this resource!